It's not over until I say it's over (I hope)

Monday, November 18, 2013

Blog Five: It’s not over until I say it’s over (I hope)

            In the beginning of my experience with this Burmese family I was not quite sure what to expect.  Although I am still not sure what to expect, I have learned that it is more about the journey (or the process) than the end result.  Moving to a new country, diving into a culture not of your own, is a process that I will never completely understand.  Instead of trying to do so I am going to do my best to help this family with their process.  Along the way I hope that I can continue to be a resource for them in any way needed.

            Throughout the journey thus far I have noticed several themes within our visits together.  The differences between their culture, collectivistic, and our culture, individualistic, seem pretty obvious.  Without knowing that within a collectivistic culture their goals include their entire family it looks like they are just being more kind, or sticking together.  Within the study of communications, though, I was able to pick out certain behaviors that followed these guidelines. 

            Through a communication studies lens I have noticed that I often use the perception process of selection, organization, interpretation, and negotiation to try to organize my thoughts and interpretation of the family and their culture.   Mostly I have noticed a cross-cultural organization to try to compare what I know (American culture) to what I do not (Burmese culture).  In doing so I have noticed that there are several cross cultural similarities.  I saw Micheal (the father) and Aye Mya (the mother) parent their child in the same way that my husband and I did, when they distracted the baby with a toy while trying to take away the ice cream that the baby needed to be done with.  It took a while for them to warm up to me, but once they did they were as friendly as ever.  They also encouraged their children to read and complete tasks just as my husband and I do. 

Through that same lens I was able to notice things about myself as well.  I noticed that I often compared their culture to mine, as though they should adopt my culture.  I never really thought that I would be considered ethnocentric (thinking that my culture, values and beliefs are what they should adopt), but I often found myself thinking that they were lacking or in misfortune if they did not have the things that I do or that others in our collective American culture do. 

This family has taught me some amazing things that I did not know about myself.  I did not know that I would be capable or find a way to interact and communicate with a person who did not speak English.  Not just communicate with them in passing, but to sit and talk for hours.  I did not know that I could be so ethnocentric or that someone from a collectivistic culture could have so many cross cultural similarities.  Going forward I will be continuing my relationship with this family for as long as they will have me.  I have tried to teach them all that they have asked me to (a lot of vocab and some semantics or meanings of words), but I am hoping to learn more from them.  I still strongly believe that everyone has something to teach and look forward to continuing to learn from them.  I also am hoping that I am more aware of my ethnocentrism and believe that the only cure may be to learn of others cultures and more practice.